Science, Madmen and Dinosaurs
by Lord of the Saiyans
Summary: Alex Mercer had seen many things in his life. He'd seen slavering Hunters, the shambling infected. He'd seen the merciless nature of Blackwatch as they executed anyone who could oppose them. But never before had he seen a zombie dinosaur. CrackFic!


AN: This is something I put together for some time ago, I figured that I may as well upload it here too since some people might enjoy it. Warning, its pretty cracky and not my usual fare.

Alex Mercer had seen many things in his life. He'd seen hunters, massive mutated creatures of raw flesh and glistening muscle. He'd seen the infected – the shambling masses that rose in the wake of any Redlight infestation. He'd come face to face with Greene in her final form and even battled the twisted creature that he still knew only as the Supreme Hunter.

Somehow, though, none of the things he'd seen so far compared to the creature that was rearing up before him. A giant of flesh and sinew, raw bone glistened pearly white and intestines hung loosely from its underbelly. Its head was skeletal, muscle and flesh failing to totally cover up the skull. Twin, deep-set eyes seemed to glow a malevolent yellow. The Tyrannosaurus – for that was what it was – shook as though from the shock of its rapid revival. Once, a mere skeleton now it was flesh and blood again. Or close to it, at any rate.

Alex looked over to the man responsible for this creature. A white-coated young-ish looking man wearing a pair of goggles and lab-coat. He was chuckling gently to himself but Alex was used to tuning him out by now. If there was one thing he'd learned so far it was that there was seldom a time when the mad man that now stood before him was *not* laughing, chuckling or otherwise making some sounds of amusement. So far, the other had gotten them into a lot of trouble on their little journey. The worst of it had been when he decided to tap into the military communications net and to play some games with Blackwatch - Alex still wasn't sure just how he'd pulled that off, or even why he'd bothered to do it at all. Just that he had and that he seemed to get some kind of amusement out of causing the most trouble possible.

But this...

Who the hell revives a T-Rex just for the lols?

"Why?" Alex said simply, bringing his guard up as he looked at the towering monster. So much for their stealth mission...

"For SCIENCE! Of course!" The other man chortled. Alex was beginning to realise that his moniker - Dr Insano – was very well chosen indeed. "What you expected me to have a potion capable of reviving a dinoaur and _not_ use it on a T-Rex? That wouldn't be science!"

"Nether is this!" Alex practically shouted, as a former scientist himself – specializing in biology, he had no fucking clue just what Insano had done to get this result. And coming from the man who had worked on Redlight and then on Blacklight, that meant a lot. " I don't even know how you did this!"

"With SCIENCE! Of course. " Insano shouted. "I worked on that potion for a long time you know, it took me _weeks_ to calibrate the quantum-flux field and to modulate the timing-pulses to perfectly mimic the natural memotic energy of a T-Rex!"

"You just made those words up!" Alex accused.

"Did not!"

"Did!"

"Not!"

"Did!"

"This is stupid." Alex muttered. Here they were, arguing like a bunch of children while the – and he couldn't believe he was even thinking these words – zombie T-Rex towered above them and observed them with a mild curiosity.

"Oh, that's what you say now." Insano put in. " But you just wait... when I've perfected my serum then my rocket-powered raptors will be the terror of the land!"

"Yes." Alex said with a long-suffering sigh. " And then you'll take over the world, be avenged at the ones who laughed at you, etc, etc. But that does leave one question."

"And what's that?"

"Now that you've brought this rex back to life-"

"Trevor."

"What?"

"His name is Trevor. I've just decided."

"Right. Fine then. Trevor. Now that you've brought _Trevor_ back to life... what are you going to do with him?"

"Uh..." The self-proclaimed mad scientist paused in his ever-present chortling. "... I didn't think this far ahead..."

"Right." Alex nodded to himself. " Great. Zombie T-Rex and you didn't think that far ahead. Why do I even let you live again?"

"Because it would be too much trouble to consume me?"

"Exactly." Mercer said. "And I am rapidly reconsidering that. Now, how are we going to get Trevor out of here before someone noticed the _zombified dinosaur_ that has suddenly come back to life?

"Well maybe you could knock him out..."

"And what then?" Alex demanded.

"Wait!" Insano said slowly. " I think... I think a better plan is occurring to me."

"Let me guess, it involves science."

"Of course not, my dear boy." Insano assured him. It involves SCIENCE!"

_We're all doomed._ Alex thought to himself.

It was an hour and a half later and Trevor was starting to get restless. The inside of a building – even one as big as this – was no place for a T-Rex and Trevor wanted to get outside and to smell the air so to speak. As far as he was concerned, he was a hundred million years overdue.

"This is a stupid plan." Alex muttered to himself as he began to slowly scale the wall. _This will never work. Not in a million years. Just how did I let Insano talk me into this?_

But it was too late to back down now. So he pressed on, holding in one hand the construct that Insano claimed he'd thrown together (''its just a bunch of loose metal and wires I had lying about!'') Alex glanced down and positioned himself so that he was directly above the T-Rex. At this point, Trevor was getting impatient. This strange building was all well and good, he had decided, but he wanted to go outside and see what new animals to hunt there were in this time. He threw back his head and the roar of a carnivorous dinosaur was heard for the first time in Manhattan . _Well._ Alex found himself thinking. _If they didn't know we were here, they do now_. Idly, he mused on what the security guards would think when they reviewed the camera footage later this night. He probably should have taken care of those cameras but really what was the point in that? Its not like anyone would believe just what they were seeing.

Judging the distance between the two of them, Alex let himself drop. There was a brief sensation of the air rushing past him before he slammed into the skin of the Rex's back. Luckily, Trevor was almost fully regenerated by this point so while on one had, his landing wasn't as soft as it could have been, on the other, his landing wasn't as soft as it could have been. Before Trevor could react, Alex slammed the device home, watching it as stretched itself out. Wires ran across the Rex's belly, encircling it in a hug of steel. More wires jabbed into the Rex's back, snaking under the skin and making their way towards the brain.

"Just something you had lying around eh?" Alex muttered but could do no more. Because before he even thought about it, Trevor moved. With a roar that was one part pain and three parts surprise, the massive predator started to run. It wasn't fast, it wasn't agile.

It was ponderous and slow.

And utterly unstoppable.

The walls of the museum were no match for the enraged dinosaur and Trevor ploughed through them with a roar, blinking back against the sun that shone so brightly in his eyes. The rex looked around, taking in the city around it. Helicopters hovered overhead – Blackwatch Alex noted but for once they seemed as stunned and stupefied as everyone else. Without really thinking, he waved at them as Trevor seemed to get his bearings and took off down the main street. Buses and cars swerved aside as the ancient carnivore delighted in the feeling of flesh once more. They headed into one of the Infected zones, but Alex found his mounting worry rather baseless as Trevor reached down and absent mindedly bite off the head of a passing hunter.

Standing like a giant in the middle of the street, the Rex looked up as the Infected swarmed about its feet. Clawing and biting. With a snort of annoyance, the dinosaur kicked out with a clawed foot, sending a dozen or so tumbling back. Trevor growled in annoyance – the tiny biting things were too small to make a good meal and not bulky enough that he could easily reach them. Like ants, they tormented him with no way for him to make them stop.

More hunters came, hooting and calling. Alex frowned to himself, the dinosaur forgotten as he leapt clear to engage his foe. His blade sliced into the flesh of one hunter but three more barrelled into him, he caught himself and beheaded one of them. The other two rushed him baring him to the ground with a grunt.

They didn't get much farther. A massive saurian tail swept up out of nowhere and sent them crashing to the ground. Trevor the Tyrannosaurus growled in the back of his throat, a low rumbling like two mountains colliding. With barely a second thought, Alex raced forwards to behead one of the hunters. The other made a leap for his exposed back but before it could do so, Trevor was in the way. Snapping up the now easily-reachable morsel and chewing down with every sign of enjoyment. But even a hunter were merely a mouthful for the hungry dinosaur and Trevor was soon moving down the street again, towards the biggest collection of hunters that he could find.

"Huh." Alex said to himself, as he watched the dino battering into the huge building that served as a collection point for the Infected. " Maybe this dinosaur could be useful after all."

He turned and sliced through free advanced infected with a whip-fist, but for once he realised that he wasn't the centre of the infected's attention.

Trevor was doing s really stunning job of ripping into the hive, pausing only to snap up a mouthful of hunter every now and then, the dinosaur looked like it was having the time of its life.

"This might be the start of a beautiful partnership." Alex commented as he watched the T-Rex stoop to snap up another hunter-sized nugget of tasty flesh.

The Infected had overrun the city, every line had been broken, every defence overrun. Blackwatch, for all its experience and reputation had been unable to prevent the fall of Manhattan. But they'd be damned if they were going to let it Redlight off that island.

"Are we ready?" The commander asked. He was nervous, and who wouldn't be in his position? After the whole of command had been wiped out by something (reports weren't clear on just what. The garbled descriptions of ''a giant dinosaur'' could be safely disregarded as nonsense.) But he was Blackwatch, and he would not flinch in the face of Armageddon.

The command centre was situated far enough away from the city to be well out of what was about to happen. With cameras and spy drones swarming in the air all around the city, they were sure to get a good view. Honestly, he didn't want such a view but he would take it and he would look. He swore to himself that he wouldn't look away not even at the end. He owed the people still alive in the city that much at least.

"We're ready." One of the aids said, nodding. He too was nervous. Not a single person in the command centre was still. All of them moved twitching or just blinking. Everyone knew what was about to happen and even for them, it was a hard thing to do.

The commander reached forward to press the button. He would trust no one else to do it. In the seconds before he did, he looked up at the screen.

At least Zeus would be gone.

He pressed the button.

Manhattan was consumed by nuclear fire. Four separate devices carefully placed by Blackwatch fired off at the same time, for the briefest second the city glowed whiter even than the sun and then was consumed utterly. The shockwave spread out and the commander watched with a kind of uncomprehending horror just what he had done.

A daze he was soon snapped out of when a call from one of his aids caught his attention.

"Sir! Something's moving."

"Don't be stupid." He growled, "That's impossible you must be-"

His rebuff died on his tongue as he saw the shape of the thing emerging from the blasting, outlines by fire and traced with smoke, the beast lumbered at a slow but steady pace. How it had survived he had no idea, massive wounds had been ripped in its chest and belly, but they were healing before its eyes. Its head glinted with bone and with metal.

The commander watched in silence, stunned into utter stupification by the sight that his brain swore again and again just couldn't be happening. But it was.

Out of the blast zone, what was unmistakably a tyrannosaurus rex was plodding at an almost leisurely pace. Perched across its back riding a saddle of some kind was Alex Mercer.

The commander wondered if he'd gone insane.

It was, he concluded as the screen zoomed into code ZEUS riding an extinct animal out of a nuclear blast zone, entirely possible.

The fact that clenched it for him was when the T-Rex pulled clear of the blast zone and he saw the man in the white lab-coat and goggles holding onto the tail of the beast. He opened his mouth and shouted loudly enough for the hovering drones to hear him.

"SCIIIIEEEEEENNNNCCCCEEEEE!"

And a bonus scene!

The Supreme Hunter was victorious. Slowly, it started to move in on its prey. It had been so long since it was defeated before. After the destruction of Manhattan it had done what it always had, blend in, survive. Consume. Several years it had spent in hiding until it was finally ready to make its final move.

Twice Zeus had left it for dead.

Now it would show the other just what a real predator was capable off. Its bladed hand raised, it slowly stomped towards the winded Mercer. Alex was still trying to pick himself up, having fought for several hours he was nearly out of biomass, his body was sore and he was feeling very weak. But he still managed to get to his feet and to force his arm into the shape of a blade.

They clashed but the Supreme Hunter was far too strong. Early in the fight, Alex would have jumped away, used his superior mobility to put himself into a position where he could strike at the hunter. But he didn't have that kind of energy anymore. The best he could do now was a kind of clumsy block The Hunter made a sound he was sure was laughter and slammed him back into the ruined building behind him. He grunted with the impact and tried to get up, but for once even his body had reached its limits and he sagged back down.

This wasn't how it was about to end. A small voice in the back of his head said. He shouldn't let it end like this..

But what could he do? Fight? He'd tried that and now he was barely even able to move. Run? Too weak now, and the hunter would only track him down again later. Try and talk? Now that was a concept worth laughter. If his lungs hadn't been squished to jelly. If he had lungs in the first place.

Still, if there was one thing that drove Alex Mercer it was survival. So he found himself rising slowly to his feet as the hunter approached. The Supreme Hunter was moving slowly. Taking its time, enjoying his helplessness. Mercer reflected that it was ironic a hunter would be the one to take him down in the end – he'd tried to put Manhattan behind him once it was all over. But it seemed his past wouldn't leave him alone and now he was going to die because of that. What a way to go...

Dana...

He hoped she'd be able to forgive him for not coming back. Even though she hadn't woken yet from the coma that Greene had induced in her, Alex had hoped that one day she would and on that day, he'd intended to be by her side and waiting. But now that wouldn't be possible. He really was sorry.

The Supreme Hunter pressed in. They both knew that he was finished he'd pulled out every trick in the book. Up to and including multiple devastators to the face, nothing had so much as made his foe flinch. He was dead,, but that didn't meant he didn't intend to go down without making the hunter bleed.

"Cone on..." he growled. " Thunk I'm finished? Don't count me out just yet!"

The Hunter roared and went in for the kill, Alex leapt forwards, intent on impaling it through the head and taking it with him.

Abruptly, a sharp whine cut through the air. Both combatants paused mid-lunge. Alex frowned, working to identify the sound from memory.

Jet engine. But what kind? He'd never faced anything that sound exactly like that. Was it Blackwatch again? Damn it, if they came now they had him dead to rights. Apparently, the Supreme Hunter had come to the same conclusion because it turned to face the direction of the oncoming sound.

It wasn't a jet.

When Alex saw it, he blinked and did a double-take. It couldn't be what he thought it was.

But it could and it was.

Shooting towards the two of them was what was unmistakably a velociraptor. Part of his mind noted that it wasn't actually a true to life velociraptor but rather modelled after what was – he was quite sure- the raptors seen in the film Jurassic Park. It was full sized and snarled as it came rocketing towards them.

Someone had built a rocket out of its back. Alex Mercer knew of only one many mad enough to even contemplate doing such a thing.

"Insano..." He growled in frustration and amazement. The Supreme Hunter turned to swat the thing out of the sky, but its eyes lit up and a beam of energy slammed into the monster.

"Oh and lasers too." Alex commented. " This day just keeps getting better and better."

As five more of what he could only call rocket-raptors closed in on the astonished hunter, Alex found himself wondering if he was going to have to consume Insano for the sake of the peace of the world.

And in the distance, Mercer thought he could hear – ever so faintly – a call.  
**  
"SCIENCE!**


End file.
